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| Joke Name |
Patton Oswalt: Shocking Medical Videos
They showed a show called, 'Fox's Most Shocking Medical Videos.' Did anybody see this show, 'Most Shocking Medical Videos'? OK, couple things -- number one: all medical videos are shocking. They're medical videos, for God's sake! There's no... |
Patton Oswalt: Not Medical Science Education
During the show, they kept trying to tell you, 'You're going to learn something about medical science. This is a very educational show.' No, this is all wet-ass-hour surgery, when the bottom has fallen through the basement, and some guy comes in... |
Dom Irrera: Friendly Medical Advice
You ever get sick and one of your friends gives you medical advice? And they tell you that they're not a doctor -- like you didn't know it? |
Arj Barker: Smoker's Paradise
I could've enjoyed a cigarette if I smoked back before everyone knew it was bad -- say, like, 1923. Everybody smoked back then. There was no medical information against it; they had no idea -- it was a paradise. It was a smoker's paradise:... |
David Feldman: Grandmother in Medical School
My grandmother, 86 years old, just entered medical school. She's a cadaver, and she is living death to the fullest. |
Redneck's Medical Dictionary
Artery: Study of paintings |
American Technology
A group of doctors were at a convention in Switzerland. The topic of discussion was the new medical technology from their countries. |
Computer Diagnosis
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. |
Famous People Say the Darndest Things
"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do." Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State) |
Mysterious death
There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning at 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do... |
Jack Gallagher: Expert Medical Technical Terms
My wife was in labor for 30 hours. Then, at the end of that, she had a C-section. After 30 hours, the doctor said, 'Well, it looks like we have to go get him.' I guess we couldn't have done that yesterday? You know why they had to go get him? I'm... |
Jesse Joyce: Hot Medical Interns
I got some advice if there's any single dudes in the room. If you ever have to go in for surgery, for whatever reason, they want to put a lot of hot chicks involved in the surgery process. There's always, like, hot surgical interns running around,... |
Cristela Alonzo: Strippers in Med School
I meet a lot of strippers, and they always say the same thing: 'I'm paying my way through medical school.' Now, if that's the truth, why is that you never meet a doctor that used to be a stripper? You'd think they'd be everywhere. |
Marta Ravin: Work-Related Medical Condition
I have unfortunately developed a medical condition. I don't know if any of you people have ever heard of it, it's called 'office ass.' You get it from sitting on your ass and eating M&Ms all day. It's at a pretty advanced stage right now. So, I... |
Wanda Sykes: Cutting Out Carbs
They mess with your food, they do. They go 'Well Wanda, first we're gonna cut out all your carbs...' OK, wait a minute, hold up. Let me explain something to you. I've got this medical condition, and when you cut out my carbs -- my foot? Right up your ass. |
Julian McCullough: Brain Can't Dream
Did you know that if you go to bed wasted, your brain can't dream? It's like a medical thing. I have my own theory and that's that your brain is like, 'Dude, I'm not going to entertain you after what you just did to me for the last six hours. Oh,... |
The Prognosis
The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." |
Blonde's Medical Exam
A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back... |
Accurate Temperature
An abrasive businessman in the hospital constantly berates the medical staff. Only the head nurse will stand up to him. |
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