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| Joke Name |
Lawyers in the Trees
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? |
Lion, Tiger, Lawyer, Elevator
Q: You are stuck in an elevator with a tiger, a lion and a lawyer. You have a gun with just two bullets in it. What do you do? |
An Honest Lawyer
What do you call an honest lawyer? |
Deathbed Lawyer
Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died? |
Lawyer Croaks
A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week." The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." Once again the... |
Defense Lawyer's Good News
"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer says to his client. |
Cory Kahaney: Lawyer Husband Rip-Off
I married a lawyer, which I know sounds very impressive. Every girl dreams, when they grow up, they're gonna marry a doctor, marry a lawyer. But me, I had to marry the only lawyer in America with a conscience. I didn't marry the cutthroat,... |
Paul Mercurio: Career Day
I was a lawyer, a comic, a furniture salesman, then a comic. Here's a tip for you kids out there: try not to get high on career day. |
Mitch Fatel: Better When Girls Dump Guys
It's always better when a girl breaks up with a guy because then it's over in five minutes. Because then, the guy just says his peace, which is, 'You suck,' and that's it -- it's over. But when a guy breaks up with a girl, you need an entire... |
Ruben Paul: A Woman With a Good Job
If you meet a woman with a good job, you don't even have to ask her what she does, she'll tell you. I saw this girl I went to high school with, 'Oh Michelle, what's up girl? How you doing?' 'You know I'm a lawyer now.' |
Dat Phan: That's My Son
My poor mom, she's like, 'That's my son, Dat Phan. He crack joke all the time. I tell him go to law school, become a lawyer. But no, he move up to Hollywood -- he live out of his car; he eat Top Ramen with all the gay guys.' |
Ten Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." |
The Test
A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. |
Roosters vs. Lawyers
What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer? |
Parachutes for two
Michael Jackson, his lawyer, and a small, cute boy are on a plane when the plane suddenly develops engine troubles. |
Sharing
A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train. |
Computer Diagnosis
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. |
What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common? |
A lawyer dies and goes to Hell.
He meets Satan, who says, "You are supposed to be in heaven, because you spent your life defending the rights of those who sought justice." |
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