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| Joke Name |
Jeffrey Ross: Sexually Transmitted
Wouldn't it be great if our bodies were designed so that instead of bad things, good things could be transmitted through sex? Like skills. 'Oh baby, I'm gonna do you 'til you can juggle.' 'Oh my God, don't stop 'til I'm a carpenter, computer... |
John Heffron: Second Business
That's what happens to you, fellas, once you get married: whatever your profession is, you open up a second business, which is a small shipping service, and your territory is your house, and you're on call 24/7. You just pretty much sit on the... |
The Power of God Can't Raise Your Load
One Sunday afternoon an older couple was listening to a holy station on the radio. They were about 98 years old and so frail, they couldn't walk to church. |
Darryl Lenox: President Bush on Hurricane Katrina
I'm surprised he don't go, 'Alright, Kunta Kinte, Kanye, whatever your name is -- you're right, I don't care about black people. I barely like the six that voted for me, so I don't care what you say.' |
Pee On A Ferrari
One day, a guy walks out from a shop to see someone PISSING on his Ferrari. |
The Pig Lover
Once there was a guy that went in a whorehouse and says, “What can I get for five bucks?” The madam says, “Second door on the right and fuck whatever is there.” He goes, sees a pig, figured “Whaddya want for five... |
A Very Special Dictionary
THINGY (thing-ee) n. For a female: Any part under a car's hood. For a male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra. |
Room 88
A virgin boy turns 18, and asks his dad for money to go to the whore house. His dad gives him 20 bucks and says, "Son, get it done. But one thing before you go, whatever you do, don't venture into Room 88." The kid agrees. |
Blonde Rolls Back The Odometer
A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car. |
Geriatric Halloween
There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she... |
Men and Women FAQ
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How to Annoy Your Co-Workers
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Fun With The States!
What did Tennessee? |
Watermelon
Three girls named Samantha, Janet and Rebecca were driving through the country, when all of a sudden their car stalls. Samantha remembers seeing a farm a little ways back, so her and Janet walk to the farm, leaving Rebecca guarding the car. |
First-Time Golfer
A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. |
Jesse Joyce: Hot Medical Interns
I got some advice if there's any single dudes in the room. If you ever have to go in for surgery, for whatever reason, they want to put a lot of hot chicks involved in the surgery process. There's always, like, hot surgical interns running around,... |
Arj Barker: Friends With Kids
I only have, like, three really good friends, and they get worse every year. And it's gotten to the point where I think they'd rather hang out with their own kids than hang out with me. I'm like, 'Alright, but really, where's the loyalty, man?... |
Tom Rhodes: Childhood Dreams
When I was a little boy, I wanted to be an astronaut. That was, like, my first dream in life. Whatever happened to childhood dreams like that, huh? How come this ain't a room full of ballerinas and firemen? |
Susan Prekel: Dating Shorter Men
There is a group of guys who love me. I'm six feet, and anyone under five-foot-two responds to me like I'm crack. And I've tried to date these guys, I really have, because they're great people and whatever. But you know what? It doesn't work. It... |
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