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| Joke Name |
Wanda Sykes: Tiger Woods
As soon as he turned pro and he won his first tournament, I read, 'Bi-racial golfer wins first tournament.' Oh, OK -- 50/50: he's 50% black, 50% Asian. Alright, cool. Then after he won the masters, I'm flipping through Sports Illustrated, and I... |
Hugh Fink: Sports Trivia
My father listens to those all-sports radio shows they have, and no matter how easy the trivia question is, he never gets it right. I mean the easiest question -- 'This former Yankee, known as the Sultan of Swat, once hit 60 homers in a season and... |
Hugh Fink: Ethnic Sports Names
A lot of teams have ethnic names: Notre Dame, the Fighting Irish; Minnesota, the Vikings; Yeshiva University, the Price-Slashing Hebes. |
Mike Britt: Sports Announcers
I hate sports announcers. Let me tell you why: they never let the past die. They always got to bring up something. You could be at your highest moment in sports, but they're just like women -- they'll bring up something from years ago that has nothing to do with right now. |
Patrice O'Neal: World Champs
We refer to our sports champions as 'World Champs,' and we don't play nobody else in the whole world. |
Daniel Tosh: Boxers Don't Cry
I think boxers are the greatest athletes in all sports for the simple fact that they don't cry. That is mind-blowing. Have you ever been punched in the nose? Oh my gosh, it hurts so bad. They have to go back to corner, where some little man yells... |
Dwayne Perkins: Sports Heroes
You grow up; you watch sports. They're all older than you. You're a little kid... You want to be like Mike. You want to be like Magic -- 'til around '90, '91 or so. |
Dwayne Perkins: Rich Sports Stars
These guys get paid millions to play a game, and we work. Well, I don't work, but I'm sure someone out there got a job. |
Godfrey: X-Games
The X-Games -- I watch that; I'm not impressed. That's white dudes' desperation. They're running out of sports. They gotta find something that black dudes won't touch. |
Anthony Szpak: Athletes Thanking God
It's fun to watch sports. I'm just tired of athletes bringing up God at the end of the game. It doesn't fit, does it? There's nothing more annoying -- some big freak on the screen after a game, 'Yeah, I want to thank God for helping me win. He... |
Jamie Kennedy: Sports Announcers
You ever notice how sports announcers over-analyze everything about the game? 'I'll tell you Marv, I'll tell you -- if he didn't make that shot, uh, he would've missed it.' |
Matt Bearden: When a Supermodel Tries to Talk
If you know me, you know that there's nothing I love more than a supermodel when she tries to talk... [Rebecca Romijn-Stamos] is on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, which is hot, right? And she's smoking a cigarette, pained look on her face,... |
Jon Fisch: Fantastic Membership
Just joined New York Sports Club, which is fantastic. Now I have a bathroom on every block. |
Richard Lewis: Jewish Center League Sports
We had our own Olympics and forget the color war. We had the colon wars, which was sort of sad. The rabbi was the head of the sports department, and he said, 'Let the injuries begin!' |
Dan Rosen: American Sports
Remember when we were number one in sports? Remember those days? Did you watch the Olympics? We suck. What'd we win -- one silver medal in dodgeball? |
Add It Up: Relationship Guide
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The Ultimate Guy Quiz
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Have Yourself a PC Little Christmas
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If Men Ruled the World... Sports
- Once a year, you could gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets and go pillage a nearby town. |
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