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| Joke Name |
Sports and Virility
One sportsman goes up to a non-athletic man and says, "If you aren't into sports, then you are gay." |
Diane Nichols: Gave Up Sports
I'm not athletic. I gave up sports early. My last bungee jump was birth. |
Dan Rosen: American Sports
Remember when we were number one in sports? Remember those days? Did you watch the Olympics? We suck. What'd we win -- one silver medal in dodgeball? |
Mike Britt: Sports Announcers
I hate sports announcers. Let me tell you why: they never let the past die. They always got to bring up something. You could be at your highest moment in sports, but they're just like women -- they'll bring up something from years ago that has nothing to do with right now. |
Jamie Kennedy: Sports Announcers
You ever notice how sports announcers over-analyze everything about the game? 'I'll tell you Marv, I'll tell you -- if he didn't make that shot, uh, he would've missed it.' |
Dwayne Perkins: Sports Heroes
You grow up; you watch sports. They're all older than you. You're a little kid... You want to be like Mike. You want to be like Magic -- 'til around '90, '91 or so. |
Hugh Fink: Sports Trivia
My father listens to those all-sports radio shows they have, and no matter how easy the trivia question is, he never gets it right. I mean the easiest question -- 'This former Yankee, known as the Sultan of Swat, once hit 60 homers in a season and... |
Richard Lewis: Jewish Center League Sports
We had our own Olympics and forget the color war. We had the colon wars, which was sort of sad. The rabbi was the head of the sports department, and he said, 'Let the injuries begin!' |
If Men Ruled the World... Sports
- Once a year, you could gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets and go pillage a nearby town. |
Dwayne Perkins: Rich Sports Stars
These guys get paid millions to play a game, and we work. Well, I don't work, but I'm sure someone out there got a job. |
Hugh Fink: Ethnic Sports Names
A lot of teams have ethnic names: Notre Dame, the Fighting Irish; Minnesota, the Vikings; Yeshiva University, the Price-Slashing Hebes. |
Jeff Stilson: After-Game Sports Interviews
I don't like interviews after the games, though, because the winning players always give credit to God, while the losers blame themselves. You know, just once I'd like to hear a player say, 'Yeah, we were in the game -- until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.' |
Jon Fisch: Fantastic Membership
Just joined New York Sports Club, which is fantastic. Now I have a bathroom on every block. |
Patrice O'Neal: World Champs
We refer to our sports champions as 'World Champs,' and we don't play nobody else in the whole world. |
There was a little boy and a little girl ...
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath. |
June 4, 2009
The biggest hamburger available at a restaurant tips in at over 164 lbs. and costs $399.00 at Mallies Sports Grill & Bar in Southgate, MI. We had to get ours to go. |
Godfrey: X-Games
The X-Games -- I watch that; I'm not impressed. That's white dudes' desperation. They're running out of sports. They gotta find something that black dudes won't touch. |
Matt Bearden: When a Supermodel Tries to Talk
If you know me, you know that there's nothing I love more than a supermodel when she tries to talk... [Rebecca Romijn-Stamos] is on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, which is hot, right? And she's smoking a cigarette, pained look on her face,... |
If Men Ruled the World... Laws
- Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance. |
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