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| Joke Name |
Dat Phan: That's My Son
My poor mom, she's like, 'That's my son, Dat Phan. He crack joke all the time. I tell him go to law school, become a lawyer. But no, he move up to Hollywood -- he live out of his car; he eat Top Ramen with all the gay guys.' |
Cory Kahaney: Lawyer Husband Rip-Off
I married a lawyer, which I know sounds very impressive. Every girl dreams, when they grow up, they're gonna marry a doctor, marry a lawyer. But me, I had to marry the only lawyer in America with a conscience. I didn't marry the cutthroat,... |
Paul Mercurio: Career Day
I was a lawyer, a comic, a furniture salesman, then a comic. Here's a tip for you kids out there: try not to get high on career day. |
Mitch Fatel: Better When Girls Dump Guys
It's always better when a girl breaks up with a guy because then it's over in five minutes. Because then, the guy just says his peace, which is, 'You suck,' and that's it -- it's over. But when a guy breaks up with a girl, you need an entire... |
Ruben Paul: A Woman With a Good Job
If you meet a woman with a good job, you don't even have to ask her what she does, she'll tell you. I saw this girl I went to high school with, 'Oh Michelle, what's up girl? How you doing?' 'You know I'm a lawyer now.' |
Nick Swardson: First High School Reunion
I just got invited to my first high school reunion. I want to show up as the first thing I wanted to be when I was younger. Wouldn't that be cool if you showed up, and everybody's like, 'Hey, how's it going, Nick? Yeah, it's me, Bob, remember?... |
Scott Henry: Girlfriend's Family
Her father's a doctor, her mother's a nurse, her sister's in pharmaceuticals and her brother's a malpractice lawyer. That's not a family; that's an HMO. |
Bobby Lee: Parents' Approval
I love my parents, but they're bummed I'm doing stand-up comedy. My dad came to this country so I could be a doctor or lawyer, not this. My dad didn't wake up one day, 'Let's see, doctor, lawyer or clown. I don't know! Maybe clown.' And he's... |
Dean Edwards: To Be Michael Jackson
When I was younger, I wanted to be Michael. You know, my friends, they were like, 'I want to be doctor. I want to be a lawyer.' I was like, 'I want to be Michael Jackson!' -- until he turned into a white woman. |
Lisa Lampanelli: Boyfriend's Occupation
He's not technically a lawyer, but he's got three court cases next week. |
Felipe Esparza: Going to Court
Rich people bring a lawyer. Latinos and blacks bring their mom. |
Jon Ross: My Brother's Rare Trick
My brother just got married. I went to the wedding in Israel, where he lives. He lives there because he's studying to become a rabbi. He's already a certified public accountant and a lawyer, apparently attempting to become a Jew cubed, going for the very rare Hebrew hat trick. |
The Amazing Health Computer
One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor." |
Lawyer... Genius
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50? |
Solitary Confinement Woes
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Lawyer on His Deathbed
Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. |
Lawyer Experiments
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? |
Blind Bunny Meets Blind Snake
A blind bunny and a blind snake bump into each other on the path. |
Little Old Lady's Banking Wager
A little old lady walks into the Bank of Canada with a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the president of the bank. |
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