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Joke Name
Dat Phan: That's My Son
My poor mom, she's like, 'That's my son, Dat Phan. He crack joke all the time. I tell him go to law school, become a lawyer. But no, he move up to Hollywood -- he live out of his car; he eat Top Ramen with all the gay guys.'
Cory Kahaney: Lawyer Husband Rip-Off
I married a lawyer, which I know sounds very impressive. Every girl dreams, when they grow up, they're gonna marry a doctor, marry a lawyer. But me, I had to marry the only lawyer in America with a conscience. I didn't marry the cutthroat,...
Paul Mercurio: Career Day
I was a lawyer, a comic, a furniture salesman, then a comic. Here's a tip for you kids out there: try not to get high on career day.
Mitch Fatel: Better When Girls Dump Guys
It's always better when a girl breaks up with a guy because then it's over in five minutes. Because then, the guy just says his peace, which is, 'You suck,' and that's it -- it's over. But when a guy breaks up with a girl, you need an entire...
Ruben Paul: A Woman With a Good Job
If you meet a woman with a good job, you don't even have to ask her what she does, she'll tell you. I saw this girl I went to high school with, 'Oh Michelle, what's up girl? How you doing?' 'You know I'm a lawyer now.'
Nick Swardson: First High School Reunion
I just got invited to my first high school reunion. I want to show up as the first thing I wanted to be when I was younger. Wouldn't that be cool if you showed up, and everybody's like, 'Hey, how's it going, Nick? Yeah, it's me, Bob, remember?...
Scott Henry: Girlfriend's Family
Her father's a doctor, her mother's a nurse, her sister's in pharmaceuticals and her brother's a malpractice lawyer. That's not a family; that's an HMO.
Bobby Lee: Parents' Approval
I love my parents, but they're bummed I'm doing stand-up comedy. My dad came to this country so I could be a doctor or lawyer, not this. My dad didn't wake up one day, 'Let's see, doctor, lawyer or clown. I don't know! Maybe clown.' And he's...
Dean Edwards: To Be Michael Jackson
When I was younger, I wanted to be Michael. You know, my friends, they were like, 'I want to be doctor. I want to be a lawyer.' I was like, 'I want to be Michael Jackson!' -- until he turned into a white woman.
Lisa Lampanelli: Boyfriend's Occupation
He's not technically a lawyer, but he's got three court cases next week.
Felipe Esparza: Going to Court
Rich people bring a lawyer. Latinos and blacks bring their mom.
Jon Ross: My Brother's Rare Trick
My brother just got married. I went to the wedding in Israel, where he lives. He lives there because he's studying to become a rabbi. He's already a certified public accountant and a lawyer, apparently attempting to become a Jew cubed, going for the very rare Hebrew hat trick.
The Amazing Health Computer
One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."
Lawyer... Genius
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?
Solitary Confinement Woes
Lawyer on His Deathbed
Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside.
Lawyer Experiments
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats?
Blind Bunny Meets Blind Snake
A blind bunny and a blind snake bump into each other on the path.
Little Old Lady's Banking Wager
A little old lady walks into the Bank of Canada with a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the president of the bank.
  

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