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| Joke Name |
Chelsea Handler: Foreign Accents
I don't know what it is about an English, Irish or Australian accent that makes me just wanna get undressed and high five myself. |
Bonnie McFarlane: Foreign Language
I don't want to brag, but I do speak Pig Latin. I mean, I'm not fluent, but I'm sure if I ever went there, I could get by. |
Christopher Titus: American Foreign Policy
We might feel bad about it later -- ask Japan -- but before we feel bad, we're gonna jack you up. And then we're gonna send you food. |
Chicken Chat
Q: Why did the chicken say, "Meow, oink, bow-wow, and moo?" |
Paul F. Tompkins: On the Phone With "Elegant Balloons"
Uh, yes, hello, I'm hosting a very important party at my mansion this evening, and I'll be entertaining some foreign dignitaries, heads of state and the like. I wanted to spruce the place up a little bit. Tell me -- what do you have in the way of balloons?' |
Kyle Grooms: Border Security Solution
They want to keep foreign threats out of the U.S. I have a solution. I think we should put a velvet rope around the entire U.S. border and hire nightclub bouncers to guard the country. No, seriously, 'cause nobody takes their job as serious as a... |
Howard Kremer: Having OCD
Everything's got to be even. Like, if I scratch this hand, I've got to scratch this hand. If I tie that shoe, I've got to tie that shoe. If a celebrity adopts a baby from a foreign country, I've got to kidnap an American baby, fly it to that country and drop it off in Namibia. |
Marriage Requirments
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in uptown New York. The ambassador was so enthralled by the beauty and presence of this secretary that he asked her to... |
Pre-Nuptial Agreements
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy ambassador at a very expensive restaurant in New York. |
The Tomato Seller!
A man from another country came to the U.S. and learned three phrases. |
Amsterdam Semester Abroad
Possible Courses: |
Camel Relief
A respected captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a remote desert outpost. On his orientation tour, he noticed a very old camel tied out behind the barracks. |
More Stupid Quotes
On Tough Jobs that Involve Letters: “It's not as easy as it looks, being on all the time. I mean, what happens if I'm in a bad mood?” |
26 Things the Movies Taught You...
1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not. |
Bill Of No Rights
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Add It Up: Relationship Guide
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