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| Joke Name |
Executive Decision
A hardworking female executive dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates and he says, "You've shown an outstanding aptitude for making business decisions. Choose whether you will go to heaven or to hell." |
Gary Condit Gets Down to Business
Gary Condit looks up from his desk to see one of his aides nervously approach him. "What is it?" yells the Congressman. |
Mailmen Get it Regular
A husband comes home early from work and catches his wife in bed with the mailman. Before they detect him, he sneaks back into the hall, finds the mail bag, steams open the letters, inserts coupons from his rug-cleaning business, and seals them... |
Al Madrigal: Hip to the Lingo
We're down in Mexico. It's for a bachelor party, so we go into a Mexican strip club... I go back with this woman down a murky hallway, and then without missing a beat -- these ladies are all business -- she goes, 'Go ahead, take out your dong.'... |
Telemarketer Repellant
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Little Johnny's Halloween
Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth. An old lady came over and said. "Son, don't you know that eating all of that candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?" |
Fortune Cookie Say Even More...
-- Man who go to bed with itchy ass wake up with smelly finger. |
John Heffron: Second Business
That's what happens to you, fellas, once you get married: whatever your profession is, you open up a second business, which is a small shipping service, and your territory is your house, and you're on call 24/7. You just pretty much sit on the... |
Good Samaritan
Bob walks into a public bathroom and notices a guy with no arms standing next to a urinal. As Bob takes care of his business, he wonders how the poor soul is going to take a leak. Bob finishes and heads for the door, but figures he should ask the... |
Daniel Tosh: Airport Phone Fun
So when I get a phone call at the airport, I'll admit it, I like to have a little fun. 'Go ahead. Gate 47 is completely clear.' People notice in a hurry. 'Honey, something is going on. That guy has a wire hanging down, maybe we shouldn't be... |
Daniel Tosh: WWJD in the Movie Theater
Does everybody have their WWJD bracelets on? 'Cause I was wearing my bracelet recently, and I was in the movie theater, and this guy's cell phone went off -- don't you just hate that? Then he picked it up, 'Hey, how's it going? I'm in a movie.'... |
Artie Lang: Obvious Gambling Problem
I have a bad gambling problem. You're not in show business for 12 years and dress like this without a bad gambling problem. |
All I Want Is a Beer!
A man was out of town on business. While sitting around his hotel he became bored. So he thought to himself, "Hmm, a beer would be really nice right now." So he began to wander the streets of the unfamiliar city, looking for a bar. And, after a... |
Is That You Coffin?
A blonde working in the coffin industry was thinking of various ways to improve her business. She thought perhaps a good way to do it would be to emulate the success of the fashion store across the street which had done very well with it's new... |
The Call of Nature
One fine day in the middle of class at school, a girl raised her asking to be excused: “Teacher, can I answer the call of nature?” Knowing what the kid wanted, the teacher said okay. Immediately, the girl ran to the toilet. But, within a... |
Jack Gallagher: Baby Clothes
For a long time, babies don't wear real clothes, they wear costumes... My mother in Boston sent us a business suit -- a little suit, a little man's suit: little black pants with a white shirt and a bowtie and a little red sportcoat -- like he's... |
Wife's Confessions
A wealthy business man and his wife are looking through a marriage-help book when his husband turns to his wife. ''It says here that the most important thing in a marriage is honesty. So let's come to grips here. Honey... have you ever cheated on... |
The Devoted Wife
A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now he had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to his senses, he motioned for her to come near... |
Mark Cohen: Last Time in Temple
I'm Jewish, but I don't really follow the religion. Last time I was in temple, I was 13. I made my two grand -- I got out of the business. |
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