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| Joke Name |
Auggie Smith: No Smoking in Bars
Look, I understand you can't smoke cigarettes in a hospital room -- I understand that: it's bad for you, blah blah blah. But, America, we're beginning to make it illegal in bars! I mean, who is concerned about their health in a bar? Exactly what's... |
How Old is this Drink?
An old guy walks into a bar and asks for a bottle of forty-year old Scotch. The bartender, not wanting to give up the good liquor, pours a shot of ten-year Scotch and figures that the guy won't be able to tell the difference. The guy downs the... |
Paying the Price
William and Mildred decided to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. William went to the front desk to check them in while Mildred stayed with the car. As he was leaving the lobby, a young woman dressed in a very short... |
The Best Pub for Free Drinks
A Scottish man, an Englishman and an Irishman sit in a pub and discuss the best pubs around. |
Walks Into a Bar... South American Toad
A young guy walks into a bar. An old drunk sits with a shoe box on the stool next to him. |
Walks Into a Bar... Horsing Around
A farmer walks into a bar with a horse. He says, "I will give any of you $1,000 if you can make my horse laugh." |
Surprise Package
A man was drinking in a bar when he noticed this beautiful young lady sitting next to him. "Hello there," says the man, "and what is your name?" |
Frog With Special Diet
One night a man walked into a bar with a brown paper bag. The woman sitting on the stool next to him asked him what it he had in there. He replies, “Sorry, ma'am, I can't tell you. It's impolite.” The woman kept asking, the man kept... |
Elephant Farts vs. Saloon
What's the difference between a saloon and an elephant fart? |
Bar: Horny Wife, Pooped Husband
A man walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously upset. |
Calamari Quite Contrary
This guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with an octopus under his arm and says, "I'll bet any of you that my octopus can play any instrument that you give him." |
Troublesome Train
A man and his wife check into a cheap hotel. The husband goes down to the bar, but his tired wife goes up to the room to lie down. Suddenly, an elevated train passes by very close to the window, shakes the room and throws her out of bed. She lies... |
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